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Michael Parkinson - The Miner's Son

I’m always interested in successful people who come from working class backgrounds, I guess it reminds me that anything is possible. Michael Parkinson is one of those people.

I like his quiet, unassuming manner and wonder if it has anything to do with his background. You know the old argument, what makes the man – environment or heredity. Did his early childhood impact on his character or is he merely the product of his ancestors’ genes?

He was born on a council estate in Cudworth, a mining village in South Yorkshire. It had the nickname 'Debtors' Retreat' and the rent collectors always went around in pairs. Every day, his father walked three miles to the pit, labouring eight hours underground. He was paid seven shillings a shift.

In his early teens his father Jack decided to take Michael down the mine. He saw men working on their knees, covered in sweat, toiling away at the coal, he saw the lamp his father used to test for methane gas and he saw the eternal darkness and suddenly he knew what hard work really meant.

Then his father gave him a pick said ‘Let’s see if you’d make a miner son’. But the harder Michael hit the coal, the more the pick bounced off the surface so his father showed him how to find the fault and when he tapped it, a chunk fell out and rolled onto the floor.

When they reached the surface and were walking out of the pit gates his father asked him what he thought of his day under the ground. Parkinson replied 'You wouldn't get me down there for 100 quid a shift,' he said.

“That’s good” his father said “But be warned that if you ever change your mind and I see you coming through those gates, I’ll kick your arse all the way home”.

But destiny had other ideas for Michael Parkinson and he went on to host one of the most successful television shows of all time. Thanks for all the good times Parky, you’re the greatest.

Sir Michael Parkinson accompanied by his wife Lady Mary Parkinson after receiving his Knighthood from the Queen at Buckingham Palace in June

Tattoo on man's back a work of art?

A tattoo of the Virgin Mary on Tim Steiner's back was bought last week by a German art collector for $257,000. The art gallery, the Belgian artist Wim Delvove and 32 year old Steiner all took a cut of the money.

In return, Steiner has agreed to exhibit the work on his back three times a year in public and private art shows.

The artist, Wim Delvove started off tattooing the skin of pigs but it was always his goal to one day create a work on a human back. He found that back in Tim Steiner, and turned the young man into a walking work of art.

But the most bizarre thing about this story is that when Tim Steiner dies, the tattoo becomes the property of the new owner, contemporary art collector Rik Reinking.

The contract includes a provision giving the owner the right to sell the work on again. Reinking has also insured against any opposition from Steiner's family by making them sign a binding document agreeing not to intervene in the removal of the tattoo after his death.

I don’t like this story, it reeks of exploitation. It doesn’t seem right to me that a rich person can come along and buy a part of a person’s body and then cut it out and sell it after he’s dead, it’s just plain sick.

I’m guessing that some time in the not too distant future, Tim Steiner will rue the day he decided to sell his back for art.

Choosing the Right Applicant

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyse the situation.

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping. Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved. Congratulate them and put them in top management…

Bones of the First Politician

An archeological team, on the outskirts of London, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.

Sexual Activity in Australian Prisons

I read something last week that surprised me. A telephone survey has revealed that women are having more sex in jail than men - only 6% of males compared to 36% of females.

“That really is quite a lot of sex” said lead researcher Juliet Richters, a public health specialist at the University of NSW.

"But we found most men strongly disapproved of sex in prison and considered those who did it to be gay," she said.

Just six per cent of more than 1000 NSW men interviewed said they had sexual contact in jail, with five per cent of it deemed consensual.

"There's not a lot of sex, they're so concerned about protecting their reputation as a heterosexual that they're really careful to avoid anything like that.

"We've shown that the whole belief that young and attractive people are likely to be raped in jail is a bit of a myth.

"It's pretty safe these days, especially with the modern prisons with things like showers in cells." Dr Richters said.

Half the men believed abortion was always wrong, and 23 per cent thought sex between women was unnatural.

I tend to believe this survey, it’s probably easier to be candid on the telephone rather than undergoing a face to face interview. Still a big surprise though.

Did Knut's Keeper Die of a Broken Heart?

On 24th March 2007 Belin Zoo's cute polar bear cub Knut made his public debut. It was decided that Thomas Doerflein was to be his keeper. He set up a bunk bed beside the incubator that kept the baby alive, gently stroking him and feeding him with a baby's bottle. He christened him Knut after a Viking monarch and for the next five months Thomas never left his side and became his surrogate father.

Doerflein was a shy, private man who shunned publicity. He declined offers to appear on talk shows and rarely gave interviews. Then last December, everything suddenly changed. Doerflein was summoned to the office of Berlin Zoo director Bernhard Blaskiewitz and told that he would no longer be caring for Knut. The extraordinary bond which had been built between bear and man was to be severed.

Doerflein was distraught, and demanded to be allowed to continue looking after Knut but his request was denied and just nine months later, he was found dead, apparently from a heart attack. But some people believe that he died of a broken heart, he was afterall only 44 years old.

Such a sad ending to a wonderful story that delighted the whole world.